Well I haven’t, again, written or drawn anything for a while. Instead I've been thinking on why I do some of things that I do, I try to understand why I work had at something that will later mean nothing. I confuse myself and use marijuana to clam myself down. I'm writing this as if I have fans are someone one here that will read it, HA not a person will acknowledge this but yet I continue to write with the hope that someone will feel the same way.
It's all useless when no one cares to look anyway. I feel like I'm at a point where I'm content with what God as dealt to me as my one and only hand, it futile trying to change what I have, because it's cheating and cheating God can't be done. In return for the attempt I get punishment which is burning in a dark abyss known as Hell for all of eternity. The thought of that used to scare me but when you have nothing going the way you would want it, accepting the inevitable is all that i can do. It's something that I know will one day happen and I can do is feel excitement for what is to come.
To all the people who don't read this it may sound crazy but their opinions won’t matter if they only exist within my mind. I drive myself crazy with logic that is counteracted with logic that later gives birth to nothingness. So Content is all I can feel right now, no anger no sorrow or joy. For people who know me they may think this isn't me but I want to let you know that it's been this way forever and will never change because again that is cheating God, that is something I dare not to do
So now I will end what I have randomly decided to write and put on face of joy for those who see me. I can't make the people around feel horrible because of what I came to realize about myself because then instead of cheating God himself for me to be happy, I'll be making everyone else lose so that they can feel my pain and mental instability.